Valentine's Day.... a time of love and suicidal thoughts

*12:27 AM Feb. 15, 2010



Dear fellow women, weirdos, and cat owners...

Valentine's Day has been over for exactly 27 minutes and I couldn't be happier. Don't get me wrong, I love laying in bed doing nothing in my empty apartment eating 17 baby back ribs while trying to not get BBQ sauce on the keys as I facebook stalk tasty treats (boys)... but on Valentine's Day, is when it feels a little pathetic.

I am a single lady (*breaks out into dance*). And before I saw the movie "P.S. I Love You," I was TOTES fine with that! But come on people, after seeing that true love between The Swankey and Sir Butler, how could you NOT want that? So I won't lie to you America, I spent the whoooooole day feeling sorry for my single self. I'll even admit that I sheded a tear or two.

But as I was licking BBQ sauce off my fingers to start in on my box of chocolates, I had an epiphany. It's like I snapped out of a trance when the clock struck midnight. I said to myself "What the hell is wrong with you?!" I was a little startled at the harshness of my own mind... anyways... "WHAT the hell is wrong with you?! You are a banging chick! And you know if you were in a relationship, you'd get bored in exactly two weeks when you noticed a 'gladiator-guy' walk by or a 'John-with-glasses.'" And I said to myself, "Self, you are absolutely right. Sometimes I forget how genius you are."

So as I start this new day watching "Heartbreakers" with my sisters drinking hurricanes, I plan on spending the rest of this year breaking hearts without breaking a sweat. I know I'm so cheeky sometimes. I invite you all to join me. Whether you are chubby, have braces, got a big nose, or acne... it's all about confidence. That goes for you too, fellas. Being a scaredy cat won't get you laid.



Until the next time I'm bored you sexy world =]

Love Me

...... "Me" as in Kylie... you know who I am right??