*3:45 PM July 5, 2010
Butt moved out today. I'm really going to miss him and his Frank Sinatra records. I came home to his empty room and was caught off guard when my throat got all tight. I then walked into the kitchen and stepped on a mini poop nugget. My throat relaxed and I rolled my eyes.
I am absolutely not going to miss his dog. He may have only been here a month, but he was here long enough to mark his territory on every inch of my clean apartment. And he stole my birthday thunder. Anyways...
Even though Butt bought the dog against my wishes, and was never home to take care of him... and was a rather messy drunk, and kept me up late in the night with his "important" phone calls, and walked around with his junk waving at my virgin eyes, and borrowed all my dresses... Wait-- Why am I going to miss him?
Happy Independence Day! I'm sure you all saw me patriotically leading the parade. Hope you all were able to escape from drunken family members and didn't catch on fire from falling embers. I personally had to be pulled away from the fires.
I love fire.
Love, Me
Happy Father's Day!... Now, How Many Of You Actually Hung Out With Your Dads?
* 12:36 AM June 21, 2010
Poor dads. Father's Day does not get the attention that Mother's Day does. But let's be fair, Mamas do have to push our fat heads out... But then again, Dad is the one who had to live through the nine crazy months of Mom hulking out on a moments notice. But honestly, I'm such a gift to my parents-- to the world, in fact-- that they've created a day for me: Kylie's Day. And Kylie's Day is everyday.
Toy Story 3 was indeed amazing. Cried like a little girl at a Twilight movie premiere. And all I want to do is talk about it for hours and hours, but not everyone has seen this gift to the film world. And those SELFISH people can feel guilty for affecting your blog reading experience. Shameful.
Now, moving on to complain about my room mates... We never get tired of that.
World, did you know that I cannot even lock my door when leaving my NEW YORK CITY apartment empty? Yes, all because my room mates A. lost their house keys that I made for them, and B. refuse to walk the four blocks to get some more made. Not that they could afford to get the three dollar copies made when they spend their money on more important things like bus tickets, dog food, and hair extensions.
I just hope I'm the one who gets raped and killed when someone breaks in-- excuse me, easily turns the door knob and walks in. That way, my room mates will soon follow me to hell after my adoring fans have killed them for taking away the highlight of their week: my blog. And there I will sit, on the right side of Satan's chair, grinning. Oh my gosh, I'm totes kidding. I'll be sitting in Satan's chair, holding a stick with his head on it, cackling with evil glee.
Oh no. I should stop now. My anger is firing up. And as you know, this subject really deserves its own post.
Ta ta for now.
Love, Me
Poor dads. Father's Day does not get the attention that Mother's Day does. But let's be fair, Mamas do have to push our fat heads out... But then again, Dad is the one who had to live through the nine crazy months of Mom hulking out on a moments notice. But honestly, I'm such a gift to my parents-- to the world, in fact-- that they've created a day for me: Kylie's Day. And Kylie's Day is everyday.
Toy Story 3 was indeed amazing. Cried like a little girl at a Twilight movie premiere. And all I want to do is talk about it for hours and hours, but not everyone has seen this gift to the film world. And those SELFISH people can feel guilty for affecting your blog reading experience. Shameful.
Now, moving on to complain about my room mates... We never get tired of that.
World, did you know that I cannot even lock my door when leaving my NEW YORK CITY apartment empty? Yes, all because my room mates A. lost their house keys that I made for them, and B. refuse to walk the four blocks to get some more made. Not that they could afford to get the three dollar copies made when they spend their money on more important things like bus tickets, dog food, and hair extensions.
I just hope I'm the one who gets raped and killed when someone breaks in-- excuse me, easily turns the door knob and walks in. That way, my room mates will soon follow me to hell after my adoring fans have killed them for taking away the highlight of their week: my blog. And there I will sit, on the right side of Satan's chair, grinning. Oh my gosh, I'm totes kidding. I'll be sitting in Satan's chair, holding a stick with his head on it, cackling with evil glee.
Oh no. I should stop now. My anger is firing up. And as you know, this subject really deserves its own post.
Ta ta for now.
Love, Me
Hey World, Kylie Here Coming To You Live From... Well... Nowhere
*12:03 AM June 17, 2010
So, I used to think that I didn't have to worry about bugs in the city during the summer time. They tend to hang out in greener places. This is still true. However, when you do come across a mosquito in New York City, it has been mutated from all the pollution and homeless people. So when the little bugger bit my ankle, it mutated as well. Yes world, I now have a super ankle with super powers. Not only can I round-house kick Iron Man in the face, I am also sprouting little wings. Achilles would have been so jealous. But that's why I've been late world... I've been busy fighting crime.
In other news, I had a job interview today at a gym. Yes, I know it's not a bartending job, but it's very hard to get hired with no experience. So this job is just a way to put money in my pocket... and to get a free membership *wink*.
I also took another step into adulthood today... I disabled my formspring. It was time folks. There's a time in every young person's life where they find that many of the materialistic forms of entertainment in their life are silly... Yea I wasn't believing that either. The real reason is that I am no longer cool enough to be asked offensive questions. It was very hard to face this fact. I mean, I would forget about it for weeks, then finally sign in to find that I didn't have ONE question. A girl can only take so much rejection.
At least I have you world!
Love, Me
So, I used to think that I didn't have to worry about bugs in the city during the summer time. They tend to hang out in greener places. This is still true. However, when you do come across a mosquito in New York City, it has been mutated from all the pollution and homeless people. So when the little bugger bit my ankle, it mutated as well. Yes world, I now have a super ankle with super powers. Not only can I round-house kick Iron Man in the face, I am also sprouting little wings. Achilles would have been so jealous. But that's why I've been late world... I've been busy fighting crime.
In other news, I had a job interview today at a gym. Yes, I know it's not a bartending job, but it's very hard to get hired with no experience. So this job is just a way to put money in my pocket... and to get a free membership *wink*.
I also took another step into adulthood today... I disabled my formspring. It was time folks. There's a time in every young person's life where they find that many of the materialistic forms of entertainment in their life are silly... Yea I wasn't believing that either. The real reason is that I am no longer cool enough to be asked offensive questions. It was very hard to face this fact. I mean, I would forget about it for weeks, then finally sign in to find that I didn't have ONE question. A girl can only take so much rejection.
At least I have you world!
Love, Me
"Just for the record, the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of: A. Indifference or B. Disinterest of what the critics say."
*12:25 AM June 7, 2010
Ah, remember the good old days when Panic! At The Disco made good music and didn't sell out to write songs for Megan Fox movies? Yea, I don't remember them either... More importantly, I don't even think Panic! At The Disco has the exclamation point in their name anymore. It's like they know their music has become lame and uninteresting. Tragic.
But the reason I have stolen this line from their song "London Beckoned Songs That Didn't Have Epic Novels For Titles" is because I recently received a critique on my blog that made me realize it is my baby. Like how one should never compare an ugly baby to Tori Spelling to the mother's face, please don't criticize my blog when I don't ask for it. I don't see any of you selflessly entertaining the world (seven people) every week! I love my baby...
Oh world... what to talk about?! Oh, I know! What is Obama going to do about this oil spill in the Gulf? Ha! I'm totally kidding. I don't know/ care about things that people learn about on that silly channel called "The News". Don't be offended intellectuals! I just don't have a television.
Invest in bikes, world! That, or memorize your parent's credit card numbers!
Love, Me
Ah, remember the good old days when Panic! At The Disco made good music and didn't sell out to write songs for Megan Fox movies? Yea, I don't remember them either... More importantly, I don't even think Panic! At The Disco has the exclamation point in their name anymore. It's like they know their music has become lame and uninteresting. Tragic.
But the reason I have stolen this line from their song "London Beckoned Songs That Didn't Have Epic Novels For Titles" is because I recently received a critique on my blog that made me realize it is my baby. Like how one should never compare an ugly baby to Tori Spelling to the mother's face, please don't criticize my blog when I don't ask for it. I don't see any of you selflessly entertaining the world (seven people) every week! I love my baby...
Oh world... what to talk about?! Oh, I know! What is Obama going to do about this oil spill in the Gulf? Ha! I'm totally kidding. I don't know/ care about things that people learn about on that silly channel called "The News". Don't be offended intellectuals! I just don't have a television.
Invest in bikes, world! That, or memorize your parent's credit card numbers!
Love, Me
Dear Mahopac, No One Likes You. Stop Existing.
*1:43 PM June 1, 2010
It's June, school's over, I'm 19 and back in this stupid town where the only things to do are drive, eat, and party at my house. How exciting...
On the bright side, I'm unemployed... Not so great for me, but I figured I make fun of you all so much, you guys deserve to feel superior for once... just this once.
I hope everyone had a fun Memorial Day weekend! I also hope you all were eaten alive by mosquitoes like I was. Honestly, what is the appeal of the wilderness when you know your future holds pain and uncontrollable itching? Personally, I like the city. There's too much pollution and smog for mosquitoes to fly around and bug me. Pun completely intended.
I'm going to leave it at that, world. I'm on vacation and am too exhausted to entertain. I fully plan to have an exciting summer and brag about it all up and down this blog.
Be excited, world.
Love, Me
It's June, school's over, I'm 19 and back in this stupid town where the only things to do are drive, eat, and party at my house. How exciting...
On the bright side, I'm unemployed... Not so great for me, but I figured I make fun of you all so much, you guys deserve to feel superior for once... just this once.
I hope everyone had a fun Memorial Day weekend! I also hope you all were eaten alive by mosquitoes like I was. Honestly, what is the appeal of the wilderness when you know your future holds pain and uncontrollable itching? Personally, I like the city. There's too much pollution and smog for mosquitoes to fly around and bug me. Pun completely intended.
I'm going to leave it at that, world. I'm on vacation and am too exhausted to entertain. I fully plan to have an exciting summer and brag about it all up and down this blog.
Be excited, world.
Love, Me
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