*10:19 PM Mar. 28, 2010
"Dear Mother Nature,
I am very sorry for making a joke in my blog post about your awesome power. I didn't mean it and it will never happen again. Love, Kylie"
I sent that to Santa Claus because I know him and Mother Nature are buddies and I don't have Mother Nature's address. Someone had to! What's this whole thing about it being winter again? We are three days from April world and I refuse to put boots back on my feet after switching to flip flops and letting them breathe in the lovely New York City smog.
But on a brighter note... I MET GERARD BUTLER! And he is six feet, two inches of Scottish orgasm. And I am happy to report that despite his growing fame, he hasn't become a diva jerk. And world, when this happened, I saw me and Gerry's future flash before my eyes. I saw the ring-- heard the wedding bells-- tasted the champagne from the honeymoon suite (tee hee)! Me... and Gerard Butler... had eye contact. It was magic! Packed with fireworks, shooting stars and a gospel church choir! After that, I knew the gorgeous brunette model he was with was just a friend.
More good news! I have acquired a name for my bar (and future grill)! Drum roll please... Shmylie's! Thanks to all for the suggestions, but you are all losers to Ms. Chrissy Varley. Credit must also be payed to Ms. Chelsea Derby/ Ms. Peyton West for giving me that name whilst bullying. Congratulations ladies! You are now famous.
Enjoy your spring break world because I will be away at bartending school learning and studying. So I say goodbye to human contact and civilization for forever!
... Or until next week.
Love, Me
If You Like Pina Coladas, Then You'll Fall In Love With Me
*11:16 Mar. 21, 2010
For those of you who know me well enough to attend one of my parties, (you can only be so lucky) you know that between the hours of 10:30 pm and 11:00 pm I tend to... to put it lightly... explode into a million pieces that are delicately put back together with a delicious Razz and Diet Coke. And unless you were too close to avoid the worst of the blow and radiation, the party was able to pick up and regain its spirits like a Katrina relief group.
One would assume that after a certain number of NATURAL disasters, I would stop testing the fates...
Wrong.
I have fed into to all your pressures and opened up the worst possible aid to my insanity. Yes world, I have opened up a bar. And I christened it this weekend with my delicious pina coladas for a dear friend's birthday. For those of you who couldn't be bothered to make it to my sister's birthday event can feel like squares. Ta ha.
Now for some reason my creative instincts are crashing into a brick wall. I cannot think of a name for my bar (possible future bar AND grill). So world, I am looking to you for suggestions. If I like the name, the person who came up with it will have the privilege of being the first person mentioned by name in my blog. I know, the reward is too good to be true.
Start brainstorming world!
Love, Me
For those of you who know me well enough to attend one of my parties, (you can only be so lucky) you know that between the hours of 10:30 pm and 11:00 pm I tend to... to put it lightly... explode into a million pieces that are delicately put back together with a delicious Razz and Diet Coke. And unless you were too close to avoid the worst of the blow and radiation, the party was able to pick up and regain its spirits like a Katrina relief group.
One would assume that after a certain number of NATURAL disasters, I would stop testing the fates...
Wrong.
I have fed into to all your pressures and opened up the worst possible aid to my insanity. Yes world, I have opened up a bar. And I christened it this weekend with my delicious pina coladas for a dear friend's birthday. For those of you who couldn't be bothered to make it to my sister's birthday event can feel like squares. Ta ha.
Now for some reason my creative instincts are crashing into a brick wall. I cannot think of a name for my bar (possible future bar AND grill). So world, I am looking to you for suggestions. If I like the name, the person who came up with it will have the privilege of being the first person mentioned by name in my blog. I know, the reward is too good to be true.
Start brainstorming world!
Love, Me
You Know Your Day's Going To Be Bad When You Wake Up With A Bindi Zit
*12:43 AM Mar. 16, 2010
How was everyones Monday?!
Don't respond. This is where I bitch and moan. Get your own blog.
Really quickly... Woke up this morning at 5 a.m. to a bindi zit, did homework, had to run to the subway because a rogue garbage truck made me late, crammed into the packed subway car, crotch was "accidentally" groped by a man's newspaper, just made it to class but was still yelled at, cried a little inside and prayed for the end of the school day where my last class ran an extra ten minutes.
If you don't mind, I need a moment to sob after reliving all of this... okay, thank you.
ILLUSION 2010! I refuse to compliment its complete and total awesomeness in any way due to the fact that I'm highly jealous that I'm too old to be in it ever again. So you will not hear about everyone's face melting!
PARTY AT KYLIE'S # 1,052! I'm not going to lie world, it was an epic fail Illusion Alumni party seeing as no one showed up. But for the people who did show up... TOTES awesome. I'm going to boast a little and share with you all the quote of the night: "This may be the best party at Kylie's ever." - My lil' bro. Even though I broke my friend's seven year old Livestrong bracelet and tried melting it back together (I don't know who thought it was okay to let a pyro use a lighter), it was so fun! And SOMEONE had SOMETHING mooned... or flashed... depending on the angle you were at.
So all in all world, life is full of ups and downs. Whether there are more ups than downs depends on your perspective of life.
I know, I can be pretty deep world.
Love, Me
How was everyones Monday?!
Don't respond. This is where I bitch and moan. Get your own blog.
Really quickly... Woke up this morning at 5 a.m. to a bindi zit, did homework, had to run to the subway because a rogue garbage truck made me late, crammed into the packed subway car, crotch was "accidentally" groped by a man's newspaper, just made it to class but was still yelled at, cried a little inside and prayed for the end of the school day where my last class ran an extra ten minutes.
If you don't mind, I need a moment to sob after reliving all of this... okay, thank you.
ILLUSION 2010! I refuse to compliment its complete and total awesomeness in any way due to the fact that I'm highly jealous that I'm too old to be in it ever again. So you will not hear about everyone's face melting!
PARTY AT KYLIE'S # 1,052! I'm not going to lie world, it was an epic fail Illusion Alumni party seeing as no one showed up. But for the people who did show up... TOTES awesome. I'm going to boast a little and share with you all the quote of the night: "This may be the best party at Kylie's ever." - My lil' bro. Even though I broke my friend's seven year old Livestrong bracelet and tried melting it back together (I don't know who thought it was okay to let a pyro use a lighter), it was so fun! And SOMEONE had SOMETHING mooned... or flashed... depending on the angle you were at.
So all in all world, life is full of ups and downs. Whether there are more ups than downs depends on your perspective of life.
I know, I can be pretty deep world.
Love, Me
AND THE SKY OPENED... and Kylie fell from heaven
*11:20 AM Mar. 12, 2010
World, I try really hard not to say the "f" word on my blog unless I'm quoting someone... but... FUCK VIRUSES! They suck! The little computer fucker tried to keep me from you! World, I hope you can accept my sincerest apologies for this late post. I know how hard the wait has been for all my two readers...
Although my good friends And The Sky Opened didn't move forward in the Bamboozle Battle of the Bands, they were by far the best set of the day. And I know what you're thinking world, because I am always two steps ahead. I am not saying this just because they are my friends and I am bias. And I am thoroughly appalled you would think so little of me... I am saying they were the best because I could only stand to stay for their set and one other. But honestly, the other band's lead singer was the drummer. And when there's no front man, there's no fun and all zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ. So as my hipster friends say, I had to "peace out." Or is it just "peace" now? I can't keep up.
So I tell you all to give my adorable boys a listen, because even if you don't like their music, they're a pretty sexy band. I posted their Myspace link because the advertisement from my blog is good enough to get them a record deal!... well...
Oh, and I'm about to embark on the journey of learning how to drive a stick shift. Shouldn't end well considering my history with automobiles. I'll keep you updated world. And if I don't, I'm sure the crash will be heard all through Mahopac.
That's all for now world. Don't worry, I won't cheap out on you. There will be another regularly scheduled post Monday morning.
Sing with me world! "Throw it away! Take it away!"
Love, Me
World, I try really hard not to say the "f" word on my blog unless I'm quoting someone... but... FUCK VIRUSES! They suck! The little computer fucker tried to keep me from you! World, I hope you can accept my sincerest apologies for this late post. I know how hard the wait has been for all my two readers...
Although my good friends And The Sky Opened didn't move forward in the Bamboozle Battle of the Bands, they were by far the best set of the day. And I know what you're thinking world, because I am always two steps ahead. I am not saying this just because they are my friends and I am bias. And I am thoroughly appalled you would think so little of me... I am saying they were the best because I could only stand to stay for their set and one other. But honestly, the other band's lead singer was the drummer. And when there's no front man, there's no fun and all zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ. So as my hipster friends say, I had to "peace out." Or is it just "peace" now? I can't keep up.
So I tell you all to give my adorable boys a listen, because even if you don't like their music, they're a pretty sexy band. I posted their Myspace link because the advertisement from my blog is good enough to get them a record deal!... well...
Oh, and I'm about to embark on the journey of learning how to drive a stick shift. Shouldn't end well considering my history with automobiles. I'll keep you updated world. And if I don't, I'm sure the crash will be heard all through Mahopac.
That's all for now world. Don't worry, I won't cheap out on you. There will be another regularly scheduled post Monday morning.
Sing with me world! "Throw it away! Take it away!"
Love, Me
WORLD! I've missed you!
*1:26 AM Mar. 1, 2010
HAPPY FIRST DAY OF MARCH! Only 20 more days until it is officially Spring! (cue church choir) I don't know about you guys, but I am so over this snow. It's like, "Okay, we get it Mother Nature. We know you can turn the north-east into a frickin' snow globe." Honestly, thank you for the snow days, but all that has really done is make my professors have hot flashes and have them reschedule classes on Saturdays. And when I'm in the city and want to take a cab home but can't because the drivers don't feel like doing their jobs and ice skating my ass to Queens, you'll have to understand why I am not grateful.
Moving on...
The Winter Olympics just wrapped up in Vancouver, Canada with another exciting, and successful ye-- blah blah oh whatever... I'm not going to lie to you world, I don't give a flying poop about the Olympics. It lasts forever, the Chinese cheat, and it interrupts my stories in the T.V. box! Oh, and how many of you forgot about my black buddies? Oooooohhh yea. February is Black History Month!! Raise your hands in shame if you forgot! Once again, please don't actually do it, because if you are one my MY readers, you don't have friends to see your guilt. CONTINUING ON!... Oh, that's all I really had to say about that.
Most importantly...
Guess who became a victim of the Formspring Stalker...? ME! Yes world, it is true. I am just a few small steps from being cool. And do you know what the best part is? The FS reads my blog! I am filled with such glee and sunshine that spring will come early this year. Screw the groundhog! Oh! And I have a few suspects as to who the FS is... Sorry world, there's no chance in hell of me sharing my thoughts (however few) of this person with you. I must let the madness continue!!
World, things are looking up!
Love, Me
HAPPY FIRST DAY OF MARCH! Only 20 more days until it is officially Spring! (cue church choir) I don't know about you guys, but I am so over this snow. It's like, "Okay, we get it Mother Nature. We know you can turn the north-east into a frickin' snow globe." Honestly, thank you for the snow days, but all that has really done is make my professors have hot flashes and have them reschedule classes on Saturdays. And when I'm in the city and want to take a cab home but can't because the drivers don't feel like doing their jobs and ice skating my ass to Queens, you'll have to understand why I am not grateful.
Moving on...
The Winter Olympics just wrapped up in Vancouver, Canada with another exciting, and successful ye-- blah blah oh whatever... I'm not going to lie to you world, I don't give a flying poop about the Olympics. It lasts forever, the Chinese cheat, and it interrupts my stories in the T.V. box! Oh, and how many of you forgot about my black buddies? Oooooohhh yea. February is Black History Month!! Raise your hands in shame if you forgot! Once again, please don't actually do it, because if you are one my MY readers, you don't have friends to see your guilt. CONTINUING ON!... Oh, that's all I really had to say about that.
Most importantly...
Guess who became a victim of the Formspring Stalker...? ME! Yes world, it is true. I am just a few small steps from being cool. And do you know what the best part is? The FS reads my blog! I am filled with such glee and sunshine that spring will come early this year. Screw the groundhog! Oh! And I have a few suspects as to who the FS is... Sorry world, there's no chance in hell of me sharing my thoughts (however few) of this person with you. I must let the madness continue!!
World, things are looking up!
Love, Me
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