Todays Forecast Includes 30 Degrees Of Annoyance Thrown In With Some Rain To Fall On Your Flip Flops

*10:19 PM Mar. 28, 2010


"Dear Mother Nature,
I am very sorry for making a joke in my blog post about your awesome power. I didn't mean it and it will never happen again. Love, Kylie"

I sent that to Santa Claus because I know him and Mother Nature are buddies and I don't have Mother Nature's address. Someone had to! What's this whole thing about it being winter again? We are three days from April world and I refuse to put boots back on my feet after switching to flip flops and letting them breathe in the lovely New York City smog.

But on a brighter note... I MET GERARD BUTLER! And he is six feet, two inches of Scottish orgasm. And I am happy to report that despite his growing fame, he hasn't become a diva jerk. And world, when this happened, I saw me and Gerry's future flash before my eyes. I saw the ring-- heard the wedding bells-- tasted the champagne from the honeymoon suite (tee hee)! Me... and Gerard Butler... had eye contact. It was magic! Packed with fireworks, shooting stars and a gospel church choir! After that, I knew the gorgeous brunette model he was with was just a friend.

More good news! I have acquired a name for my bar (and future grill)! Drum roll please... Shmylie's! Thanks to all for the suggestions, but you are all losers to Ms. Chrissy Varley. Credit must also be payed to Ms. Chelsea Derby/ Ms. Peyton West for giving me that name whilst bullying. Congratulations ladies! You are now famous.

Enjoy your spring break world because I will be away at bartending school learning and studying. So I say goodbye to human contact and civilization for forever!

... Or until next week.

Love, Me