If You Jump, I Will Too.

*9:04 AM July 20, 2010


Yes, world. I didn't accidentally put an "A" instead of a "P". It is very much nine in the morning. I don't think I have ever blogged this early. I was up at the ungodly hour of 7:30 to move my car so that I wouldn't get a ticket. And I was surprised to see screaming devil children running around the park with all the old people doing their old person version of yoga. It is the child's sole interest to disturb any sort of calm...

Since I couldn't go back to sleep I decided to finish my book. Yes, I can read. And let me ruin it for you so you feel no desire to start it. Woman is married, doesn't want children (I thought this was a safe bet for me), gets a divorce from her husband because he wants children, 250 pages go by, they get back together without resolving the baby issue... QUITE the page turner. I thought this woman was going to be my hero and be the start of the world realizing that repopulating the earth is not worth the boogers, drool and diapers. I guess it's up to me...

I went to Warped Tour this Saturday only to be blinded by pasty scenester clones with rainbow hair, walking around half naked with messages written all over them like "free hugs," "free kisses" and "free SPANKS" with an arrow pointing down to their butts. Oh, and to turn the vomit taste in your mouth to real vomit, the average age of these girls was 13. I wanted to cross out the word "spanks" and replace it with "penetration". I usually don't get so vulgar in my blog, but honestly, these girls need a slap in the face by a nun with a ruler.

I was very sorry to not see Envy On The Coast at Warped Tour because, unfortunately, they announced their break-up this week. And it's all my fault. Yes. When I found out Mike left Monty Are I, I had just finished playing their song on guitar about how much the lead singer loves his band. A half an hour before I found out about EOTC, I decided to wear their t-shirt that I haven't worn since I bought it.

So the good news is: I'm the most useless form of psychic!
The bad news is: I'm cursed.

Love, Me