This Is The Story Of A Girl Who Became A Cliché And Blogged To The World

*11:42 AM July 26, 2010


I have some great news... I got a job! And now that we're on the same level, employment wise, I can go back to being better than you, world. I know, I'm just as happy as you are. I work as a barista at a cafe in Columbus Circle. It's so typical for a new New Yorker girl to get her first job in the city at a coffee shop. And to confirm my official New Yorker status, I got stuck in my elevator alone for a half an hour on Friday night. And lucky for you, I wrote down everything I was thinking in my phone. Enjoy...

"Totes stuck in an elevator right now... Should be feeling scared and nauseous. No. I'm pissed. I was on my way out to have a good time [despite my exhaustion and the fact that it was 11PM]. But because I'm a terrible person (who is a good friend, nurses orphaned kittens, and reads to the blind... Okay, that last one is false, but I write an awesome blog) I don't deserve to go out and have fun. Nope. Looking at a brick wall out the [elevator] window. Curse the storm and all its awesome power. And now I have to pee."

I finally figured I should work on getting out.
"Man, I wish my iPod wasn't dead. But once again, this would happen to a terrible person like me. I pushed the emergency button and it talked at me some emergency stuff. I talked back to it and it didn't answer... I then felt dumb because it isn't supposed to answer [it was a prerecorded message]. And then I felt dumb again for feeling dumb when no one even witnessed my interaction with the robot. I am ALONE in this elevator... Okay, a little nauseous now."

No one ever did come for me... glad I know for next time that there's a possibility of dying of starvation. I then started getting a little silly and weird.
"What I don't understand is how I lost service. I could send texts at the beginning of this debacle. Not now. I have no idea if someone is coming for me or anything. I can hear jingling keys from people out in the real world. I wonder what floor I'm on...? I'm so Alice In Wonderland right now. Okay my head is kind of woozy now. Yet I'm completely fine while writing this down. Ah! I moved! And again! This is terrifying hahahahahahaha."

I then started talking directly to you, world. Clearly going insane.
"Just like to add, that I'm brilliant for thinking to write this down for you, world. Win. Ugh moved again... to the first floor... I'm free! Now I can puke."

I never actually puked. I'm no wuss. Walking up the stairs.
"Awesome. I'm not going out now, so I get to walk the awesome six flight of stairs."

In bed.
"I love that my head is throbbing now that I'm OUT of the confinement cell (elevator)."

The End. I can go back to being a blob now.

Love, Me