Oh, Hi There.

*10:25 AM August 18, 2010


Tee Hee... Hi.

I know, I know! I "suck," I've "let you down." Thank goodness my head is too big to care. Anyways...

So I am no longer a barista. No, world, I didn't get fired. I'm too awesome for that. My boss decided to make me a waitress instead. So I said to my boss, "Boss, are you sure? I have no waiting experience." But that clearly didn't matter because they only trained me one out of the four days they were supposed to and felt I was ready to be thrown on the floor. Don't pretend you're shocked, world. You know I'm good.

But let me tell you, I haven't worked this hard at a job ever. Maybe at the bowling alley doing birthday parties, but that was only on weekends. I work five days a week now. And life guarding the elderly in a pool that only goes to five feet was a joke. The kitchen is downstairs, so I'm constantly running up and down them. I come home to collapse in bed and can feel my feet pulse in pain. Then there's the rich jerks I have wait on...

There are many different types of people I wait on, but here are three of the most popular: The people who order but then change everything about the meal. "No carrots. No blue cheese. Can I have goat cheese instead. And I would like my bread to come at the same time as my meal. And dear, I don't drink whole milk in my coffee, please bring me two percent. And can a carrier pigeon float my meal to my place setting?" These are the people who never tip.

Then there are the people who whisper their order at me thinking I have spidey senses that can pick up on the sound frequencies. But they don't waste my time like the rude people who flag me down when I have a tray full of beverages in my hand screaming "Miss! Excuse me, we're ready to order." And then of course when I get over there, they're still looking at the menu and take forever to just spit it out. "Okay to drink I want... now what exactly is a macchiato? Uh huh, don't want that... What's good to eat here? Oh, I didn't even SEE this side of the menu..." and so on. And they always get me when I have five other tables waiting for me.

There was one time when I asked a table if I could get them anything else, and the old man just nodded his head and stared at me for an uncomfortable 23 seconds. I didn't know if he wanted more milk or was having a stroke. He finally said he didn't need anything.

But I guess it's fun making a lot of money I don't have time to spend.

Love, Me